For many single parents, it can feel as though there is just never enough money. No matter how hard you work or how many hours or how many jobs, the income just cannot cover the expenses. No matter how frugally you try to live or how hard you might fight to collect child support or get help with the expenses, it can feel like an endless struggle. Does it have to be this way? Do we have to feel like we are on a nonstop treadmill of financial stress?
Yesterday, I asked the question “Does the recession have you worried?” trying to address the way that economic insecurities on a national and local level can be overwhelming for single parents. As I sat down to write more about financial struggle, however, I realized that while the hardships that we single parents face can be economic realities, how we react to those realities is largely a matter of choice. We do not have to agree to be part of the struggle.
I am not advocating giving up or ignoring one’s financial obligations to family, what I am thinking about is how we can only work as hard as we can and then trust that the rest will come to us. Struggling and fighting might not bring financial security our way any faster. I have confessed that I tend to work a lot–more than I would really like to–and a big chunk of what motivates me in all the work I try to do is simply trying to provide for my family. I do occasionally feel overwhelmed but not nearly as often as I used to. One day I realized that somehow, there is always food to eat, always a roof over everyone’s head, and I am always able to provide enough–maybe not riches and the drippings of luxury, but enough. Letting go of the fear of deprivation and poverty can be extremely liberating. The truth is, I may never get rich no matter how hard I work or try to do my very best, but battling, struggling and fighting is not going to get me there any faster (or make me any happier) either. Believe it or not (and I do believe it) I think even we financially precarious single parents can “choose” to let some of that endless financial struggle go and trust that our families will be just fine.