Despite the moniker “terrible twos”, that period of testing and searching for independence can come as early as 15 months and last up until three years old. Navigating this period of development successfully requires, patience, patience, a little more patience and then just a little more patience. However, setting boundaries during this time will set you up for a life time of positive interaction with your child. This is the age where you’re setting the ground work for authority in your home. It’s not a now or never deal, but parents who are not consistent and firm with their toddlers, often find that the situation is a lot worse to deal with as the child gets older. With that said, here are a few mistakes to avoid on your journey through the terrible twos.
Unacceptable Is Unacceptable Every Time
The number one mistake that I often see parents make is justifying the child’s behavior. If you find yourself justifying your child’s behavior because he’s young, or tired or frustrated at his lack of communication skills, you need to take a look at what you’re teaching your child. There are some behaviors that are simply unacceptable regardless of the circumstance and need to be dealt with every time. Being patient and understanding is not synonymous with being passive.
Clear Choices and Consequences
No doubt that toddlerhood is full of frustration–especially if your child isn’t communicating that well yet. However, toddlers are able to understand far more than they can speak (usually) which is in fact part of the frustration. But if your toddler understands that there is a clear consequence for a specific unacceptable behavior and that the consequence is implemented every time–said behavior will eventually stop.
However, what I often see parents do is change the boundaries without realizing it. Yesterday it was okay that junior hit because he was tired–he needed a nap. Today it’s not okay that junior hit. So he gets time out. Tomorrow it still isn’t okay, but I’m really busy and so I don’t have time to enforce the time out. It takes a very conscientious effort to be consistent. If you employ the same method of discipline for the same issue, every single time, you will find that behavior will change very quickly.
Running Amuck
The parents that is. Let’s face it–parenting a toddler takes time and energy. It requires a lot of flexibility and most of all, it takes time spent with your toddler. It is a lot harder to preemptively prevent behaviors if your day is packed full. For example, yesterday junior hit because he was tired. But did he have time at home for a nap? Or were you running from one thing to another to yet still another. If you find yourself frustrated with consistent behaviors like biting or hitting–you might want to take stock of your schedule and look at what can be cut out. Spending time with your toddler influencing his good habits is an excellent way to navigate through the terrible twos.
While I’m not saying that following my advice will always yield rosy, well behaved and polite toddlers, I am suggesting that taking stock of your consistency, your schedule, and the consequences you’re giving will help you navigate the terrible twos with a little more ease.
Valorie Delp shares recipes and kitchen tips in the food blog, solves breastfeeding problems, shares parenting tips, and current research in the baby blog, and insight, resources and ideas as a regular guest blogger in the homeschooling blog. To read more articles by Valorie Delp, click here.
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