With the raid on the polygamist compound in Texas headline news lately, I’ve been thinking about polygamy probably more than I ever have before in my life.
The Husbands
Watching the news, I’d be led to believe that the husbands in polygamist unions are all abusive, dirty old men who use religion as justification for having sex with young girls. Maybe some of them do. But what about the ones who don’t?
What about the ones who have committed themselves to many wives because their religion ordains it and they firmly believe in their doctrines? How do they emotionally and physically juggle the demands of multiple wives and children?
In mainstream society I have yet to meet a woman who hasn’t at some point complained about her husband being inattentive, slacking in his duties, or having some excuse for not holding up his fair share. Not that they make the complaint all the time, but it crops up here and there.
I’d think that polygamist husbands would have a plethora of excuses for falling short if so accused by a wife. “Well honey, I’m sorry I didn’t take out the trash. I was busy helping wife number 2 fix the plumbing, and then wife number 3 was having trouble disciplining Johnny so I had to go have a talk with him.”
My mind just can’t grasp how the husbands navigate such an arrangement successfully. Or maybe it’s because the wives don’t expect much and accept whatever they’re given.
The Wives
Speaking of those wives…how do they do it really? Are they as meek and subservient as the news portrays them? Or are they much stronger than anyone realizes?
For me, and perhaps the thing most women contemplate when we hear of many wives sharing one husband, is how do they avoid being jealous of the other wives? As I’ve admitted before, I have a green-eyed monster within me. I’m not even sure believing in a certain religion could tame that beast and make me accept to sharing my man.
Are they friends with the other wives? Do they regard them as sisters? Are they responsible for raising their own children? Or do they share the duties of disciplining, teaching, etc?
Too Complex
The dynamics of marriage can be complicated enough as it is, but add in more wives (or in some cases I guess there’ve been women with multiple husbands) and I’m bamboozled as to how they juggle it all. Why make it more complex? Why not just keep it simple? One man for one woman.
Although, that’s me talking from being raised and reared a certain way with a certain mindset. Perhaps my monogamous lifestyle bamboozles the polygamists just as much.
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