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You Are Still a Parent In the NICU

premature Ideally, you gestate for nine months, you give birth, and in a few days, everyone goes home. But as we know that doesn’t always happen. Premature birth can happen to any mother, but some women are at a greater risk. Multiples almost always come early with a mere 5% making it a full forty weeks. Nonetheless, whether you are prepared for the NICU experience or not, when it happens, it can be nothing short of devastating and depressing.

A Difficult Birth

Babies who are born early are almost always born via cesarean section. While I realize that the surgery goes easily for some mothers, it is still major surgery. It takes a toll. Not to mention that depending on how early you are, the baby can be taken away immediately. You have given birth and didn’t even get to here your precious one cry. On top of this incredibly emotional experience, you’re body’s own natural response to giving birth is a surge of hormones. Add to this the onslaught of doctors communicating understandable and sometimes not so understandable medical procedures being done to your infant and it’s enough to send a mother into depression. As one mother put it, “It was like they were talking to me, but I wasn’t really there.”

Recovery and Bonding

Once you are physically recovered from giving birth (or at least functional) you’ll want to bond with your baby. However, depending on what types of machines your baby is hooked up to, you may not even be able to touch your baby. Also, depending on how early your baby came, it may be weeks before you’re allowed to help care for your child.

Gaining Confidence

Although it is an incredibly difficult time, prepare for the day when you will bathe, feed, and care for your baby. Take as much time as you can to learn the routines and learn how to care for your child. It is hard, but the NICU nurses are able to help you and they deal with parents on a daily basis. Some hospitals have NICU parent support networks and if yours does, I highly recommend taking advantage of them. The system of support that comes from people who know exactly what you’re talking about, and exactly what you’re going through is invaluable.

Remember though, that eventually you will gain confidence and begin to parent your newborn. The sooner you are able to do it, the better.

Look soon for more articles on the NICU experience.

Valorie Delp shares recipes and kitchen tips in the food blog, solves breastfeeding problems, shares parenting tips, and current research in the baby blog, and insight, resources and ideas as a regular guest blogger in the homeschooling blog. To read more articles by Valorie Delp, click here.

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