I really do believe that a good dose of humor and silliness can defuse just about any stressful family situation. Having a sense of humor helps to get through all sorts of tough times and keep from taking circumstances and situations too seriously. As a single parent, using humor can be a lifesaver. It is important, however, that while we are laughing and making jokes, we do not laugh AT our children or send the message that we are not taking their problems, concerns, and emotions seriously.
There is a big difference between laughing away a tense situation and using humor to get through and belittling a person by teasing or making fun of them. For example, if your child is having an exhausted temper tantrum at the end of a long day and you mimic or make fun of him, that is not really using humor for good. Cracking a joke or telling a funny story about something that happened to you during the day is a positive way of using humor to diffuse things or cause a shift.
As I have taught my kids, it is not really humor and it isn’t funny if someone else gets their feelings hurt. In fact, while it may interrupt the behavior or shift the situation when you use mean-spirited humor or shrug off your child’s concerns and issues, the long-term damage can be acute. A child quickly learns that mom or dad is not going to take his emotions and concerns seriously and that there is a lack of appreciation and respect for those feelings.
Humor is good, being able to laugh, find something funny in a situation and not cling to things too tightly are all good things–but making a child feel as though you are laughing at them or not taking their emotions and personal troubles seriously is not.
Also: Tip of the Day–Laugh!