When my children were preschoolers and early elementary-aged, we did a lot of our cleaning together. Cleaning up the playroom or their bedrooms was something we did together so that I could teach them and model for them and I hoped to set a precedent for housekeeping expectations. It just didn’t work to send a four-year-old into a room and say “Clean this up”—it was too vague and too overwhelming. Over the years, and with plenty of modeling and organization, my kids have learned what is expected and have become pretty decent housekeepers. We still have a tendency to clean as a group when we can, however.
The truth is, housework can be more fun when you do it with someone else. While I find a certain amount of housework therapeutic and I take pride in the work, I am not always in the mood to be solitary. I also find that harping at my teens to clean their rooms is pretty ineffective. Declaring an hour and half or so on Saturday to be housekeeping time and having everyone pitch in together tends to work much better. I find with older kids that if I give them warning and take their schedules into account, and let them be “in charge” of their own rooms and messes, they are perfectly willing to get in and work as a group and actually appreciate getting help. If I let them tell me what they’d like me to do (“What do you need me to do to help out in here? Would you like me to clean the mirror or stack these books back on the shelves?”), they do not feel as though I am taking over and they have control.
Even older kids like a little celebration after a family housecleaning session—baking a cake, going out for ice cream or going out for lunch (or even ordering in a pizza) can be good rewards for a group cleaning session and put the focus on togetherness and fun instead of fighting over cleaning standards and mess.
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