I wrote earlier today about how hanging on to hate can waste a lot of time. It dawned on me as I was finishing up, however, that the anecdote to hate is really forgiveness and while we often talk about the importance of forgiveness and letting go, few of us know how drastic forgiveness can be.
It has taken me over forty years to learn that forgiveness is NOT giving up or letting others have control over me; it also does not mean that I am forgetting or allowing myself to make the same mistakes over and over again. What forgiveness does mean is that I am letting go of the hurts, hatefulness, judgment, and injuries that I think have been done to me. While I am so not perfect, I am learning that the sooner I let things go and forgive, the happier and healthier I feel.
Think of it this way–forgiveness is really something we do for ourselves. When I realized that, it was like a huge hole opened up in the sky and the rays of sun shown through. Holding on to hate and resentment can eat a person alive while it does absolutely NOTHING to the other person! They are not affected in the least by our harboring ill will and bad feelings, but we are. Forgive–as quickly and immediately and completely as possible. This does not mean you have to continue to interact with people who have injured you, or stay in harmful situations, but it does mean that you are moving on without holding a grudge or clinging to hurt feelings or feelings of hatred. You release it, let it go and move on. You might be amazed at how much lighter and happier you feel once you learn to forgive easily and completely instead of fussing and hating and holding a grudge.
Also: How Much Forgiveness Should we Model?