This week we spent time looking at the anger that accompanies incidents of sexual abuse. In Anger and Sexual Abuse (1), we looked at how the twin themes of guilt and anger join together to keep a victim of sexual abuse caught in a horrific internal limbo of pain.
Guilt and anger can co-exist inside the mind and body of a sexual abuse victim, but once the guilt is released, often through therapy, then anger and rage really come to the fore.
Yet even then it may take two different forms, internalized anger and externalized anger. The latter may be focused on the perpetrator or it may be directed at the world in general.
In Anger and Sexual Abuse (2) we looked at the case study of Shawna, who directed the anger regarding her own assault internally, blaming herself and getting angry at herself because she didn’t behave as a superwoman during her assault and leave the perpetrator in a bleeding mess on the floor. In time and with therapy, Shawna came to see that she had unrealistic expectations of herself and that these expectations were halting recovery.
In Anger and Sexual Abuse (3) we saw how Jenna had kept her stepfather’s abuse a secret from her mother in order to protect her. Now aged in her 30s, Jenna was taking out her rage at the world, causing breakdowns in both her personal and business relationships.
In all cases of sexual abuse, there is also associated anger at the fact that it is the victims themselves who must go through the pain of therapy in order to be free and lead productive, happy lives. This is one of the unfair realities of life and sometimes needs to be dealt with as part of the therapeutic process.
Finally, in Not Being Able to Say Sorry has Far-Reaching Effects, we looked at how important it is to learn how to let of our need for control and be able to say “sorry”. We looked at a classic example where the inability to say “I’m sorry” lead to an unfortunate business transaction which will have lasting repercussions to the business owner, purely because they could not treat themselves and their clients with respect.
Contact Beth McHugh for further information or assistance regarding this issue.
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Not Being Able to Say Sorry has Far-Reaching Effects