Who among us has not given that lecture in the mirror? We tell ourselves to shape up and get a grip. We might even extend that lecture to our child or children and expect them to just stop feeling badly, whining, being lazy or whatever negative version of our family story we have. During these times when we want nothing more than to give ourselves and our kids a “good talking to”—it might actually be time to lighten up, take it easy, and have a little compassion. We might just be too rough on ourselves and that never helps matters.
I know that having high expectations is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it is those very high expectations that spur many of us on during challenging and difficult times. Unfortunately, the down side of that is that we can put undo pressure on ourselves and our children and make life much harder than it needs to be. It may be that what is needed is for us to lighten up, say pleasant words of affirmation to ourselves and our children, and take it easy on the entire family.
We can only do what we can do and sometimes focusing too hard on making improvements or “shaping up” can add such stress and tension to our lives that there is no way we can focus on what needs to be done. We are too busy feeling badly about ourselves. Our children too can really feel the pressure to “buck up” and learn that they are not allowed to have feelings or flaws or to process emotions in their own way. When you feel tempted to give yourself “the lecture” or to bark at your children for not towing the line, consider taking it easy on yourself and your child. After all, we are all normally doing the best we can and whether we are getting the immediate results or not, we still need to acknowledge that we are trying.
See Also: Young Mothers: Take Care of Yourselves
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