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Positive Reinforcement or “Bribing”: Is it Kosher?

The title of this post sounds like it could belong to a parenting section, but I’m putting it here, because Jewish sages do have an opinion on the subject. Most of us who read parenting books today, or just hear mom’s speaking in the park know that “positive reinforcement” preferable to negative reinforcement. Gone are the days when it is typical to threaten a child into doing something. Now, we are to encourage and to reward good behavior rather than focusing on punishing bad behavior. This is in line with the Torah and the teachings of Jewish sages.

It is said “Educate a child according to his way, and he will never depart from it.” This shows that very early on, Judaism taught teachers to be flexible, at least to some degree, to the needs of their students instead of threatening pupils to fit into an uncomfortable mold. The Rambam also writes of the importance of giving rewards as an incentive for study and the development of good character traits. This is something that seems to have been revolutionary in his time (the 15th century) when in many parts of the world, the strap and the cane were used as main pedagogical methods.

Rewards have become pretty controversial as of late. Now we are told that rewards may not be so great for motivating a child. I have leafed through the book Punished by Rewards, in which the author says rewards ultimately do not encourage a child to have true motivation. The child learns to be influenced by external factors.
In my own experience with my children, I have found the Rambam to be correct. I used to give my son candies during toilet training. Does he still need a toffee every time he uses the toilet (good for his teeth and tummy, he does not). The same with study. I give him rewards for reading, but sometimes he will pick up a book for the enjoyment of it and read without asking for a prize. Positive reinforcement has a way of encouraging habits, and the habits can remain even as the prizes are forgotten.