We’ve all heard the expression opposites attract, and what more obvious opposites are there than the optimist and the pessimist? But can the two survive (and happily) together in the same relationship?
I think so.
The Pessimist
In my marriage, Wayne is predominately the pessimist. Not always. Sometimes we reverse rolls, but in general he tends to be less upbeat and have a less rosy outlook on life than me.
He’s more prone to grumbling about any kind of bad situation we find ourselves in. Although, he has been known to make light of some of them to lessen the tension, too.
The Optimist
Generally, I’m the one with the “glass half full” attitude, but I do have my moments when I might look at it as half empty. But for the most part I believe hard times always bring either blessings in disguise or valuable life lessons we’re meant to grow from.
Split “Ist” – An Optimist and Pessimist in One?
As I mentioned above, sometimes Wayne and I switch roles. He’ll suddenly be more positive and I’ll find myself unable to shake the pessimism off me. I’ve always found this interesting.
Isn’t optimism/pessimism a state a mind? If you have pessimistic tendencies, aren’t you always a pessimist? (Or an optimist, as the case may be?) How can some situations influence the one to appear rather than the other?
I don’t know, but sometimes I wonder if Wayne and I are responding to each other. Playing Devil’s Advocate if you will with our “Ist” roles. When he’s negative, I’m positive –and vice versa. Why it works out this way, I don’t know, but it does.
Striking a Balance
Maybe it has to. The few times we’ve both been pessimistic about something at the same time? Yikes. It seems to invite heaps more negativity and bad consequences upon us.
But both of us being positive isn’t so good either. I’ve found that it leads to swollen egos and prideful patting of our backs. None of which is particularly attractive or productive.
No, the one being up and the other down seems to strike a balance and keep us grounded. We don’t get too full of ourselves, or too down on ourselves.
I believe this is an example of opposites attracting bringing a certain symbiosis to the relationship.
Question to Readers
Which are you in your relationship, the optimist or pessimist? Or do you switch roles depending on the situation? Or are you both the one or the other?
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Photo credit: Picture by Julie Elliott. 
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