I think sometimes we single parents get lumped into one group in terms of *how* we parent. There tends to be myths and assumptions that all single parents represent a certain type of parenting even if two-parent homes are imagined to be diverse: strict, lenient, etc. Even we single parents, when we meet other single parents might assume that we are all on the same page in terms of how we parent our children when that just is not the case. There is as much variety and as many differences in the way single parents parent, as anywhere else.
Some of us are firm and strict and others of us are more lenient. Some of us prefer to be the ultimate authority with our children while others of us take more a “friendly” approach to parenting. It may seem like the fact that there is only one parent in the house can keep all these different parenting styles from becoming a problem but where it can get dicey is when there are still two parents (or more if you include the step-parents) and even though you live in different houses, your children are still be parenting by two parents with very different parenting styles. This can make things tense, confusing and competitive.
I do think it helps to accept and admit to being very different types of parents. For some reason, many of us feel like in order to validate our style; we have to denigrate someone else’s. We just cannot fathom that they can both be right. There can be many different acceptable ways of going about parenting and if the ex or the child’s other parents have a different approach, (as long as it is safe and appropriate) we can learn how to tolerate those differences and accept the variety. Our child will be the better for it if we can find a way to be tolerant and acceptant of different ways of doing things.