Whether you are going to visit older grandparents, a family friend at the retirement home, or an elderly neighbor, sometimes older adults and rambunctious children just do not mix. Of course, there are those seniors who love the noise and energy of children, but there are others who either because of illness or temperament do not have as much patience. As the parent, it is up to us to help our children learn how to behave and to come up with ways to keep them occupied and appropriate when visiting older adults.
Keep in mind that if you are visiting someone else’s home, they really do get to set the expectation for what behavior is expected. That does not mean that they get to parent our children, but it is up to us to both set the bar for our children and help them to behave appropriately or find something else for them to do. Many older adults really like to have children come and visit, but they come from a different generation and have different expectations about behavior. Manners dictate that we prepare our children to respect the older adults.
Prepare a bag of activities and treats to keep a child busy when you visit older adults. It is a great idea to have some activities that they could do “with” the adult if it will be that sort of visit. Card games and puzzles are good joint activities. While children might find video games, computer games and movies entertaining, it can be incredibly off-putting for some older adults. Instead, old-fashioned puzzles, coloring books or games can be both amusing and enticing to many older adults.
Make sure to have snacks and beverages for your child and help him or her find a safe place to play during the visit. If a child feels hungry, overly warm (or cold), cramped or the environment is too rigid or uncomfortable, he or she might act out with unsavory behaviors. If possible, find a neutral, child-safe place where the child can spread out and not feel so self-conscious and make sure there is some food and drink to keep the child satisfying as well. It is wonderful to bring something that the child can “share” with the older adult so that everyone feels included and involved in the visit.
Let your child know what to expect, what the time frame will be and prepare him or her for what is appropriate behavior. Make sure that you give him or her a quick tour and that the child knows where the restroom is, what the house rules are, etc. If you are visiting at a senior living center, keep the child with you instead of letting him run up and down the halls and *visit* the other residents.