A week or so ago, I watched as a nearly two-year old declared that her diaper was dirty. She went to the changing table and got a new diaper, the wipes and the diaper cream and walked over to her mother, demanding to be changed. She actually removed the closures on the diaper and practically did the entire job herself. I couldn’t help wondering why, if she could do all this and was incredibly verbal, she was still wearing diapers?
“Readiness” is an important consideration for parents when it comes to moving children on to the next developmental step. Many parents are in the *other* camp where they try to push their child into a new task or stage before he or she is ready. This child, on the other hand, was more than ready and could probably be completely toilet-trained in an hour!
What is behind a parent who neglects to move forward when the time is right? It could simply be ignorance—not knowing that it is time for the child to dress himself, feed herself, or whatever. It can also be a reluctance to let the child grow up—wanting to keep him or her small and dependent as long as possible. It can also be a control issue—as long as the child has to come to mom or dad to have the diapers changed, the parent seemingly has more control (although if the child is doing all the work herself, that might just be an illusion.)
Regardless of why the reluctance to allow or encourage the child to move forward, it is our job as parents to facilitate that growth and development. Whether it is with food, education or physical development, children need to be allowed and encouraged to move toward increased independence and not held back because the parent is too worried, lazy, or unaware that the time has come to take the next step.
See Also: the BABY Blog
and articles on Child Development