Boundaries and limits are important for any family. For a single parent family, many of us have a ‘loser’ idea of what boundaries need to be and that can be a good thing. After all, with recent parenting philosophies on attachment parenting and the family bed, more and more of us have less strict boundaries about space and personal relations than our parents did. However, healthy boundaries and a respect for privacy are still important and if we overlook those violations we can create a big problem as our children get older or our living situations change.
As someone who has raised three children, most of that time as a single parent, I can testify that boundaries and ideas of privacy change over time. Whereas my children used to burst into my room without knocking, we now have fairly clear standards about respecting each other’s space. Part of this happened naturally, and part of it was a conscious effort on my part. I realized that we had some fairly fluid boundaries—mostly due to our closeness as a family and the fact that I had been a single parent and I decided to work on setting up some clear expectations around privacy and boundaries—one that worked both for the children and for me as the parent.
You may decide to start dating again or even get seriously involved with someone and want to have stricter privacy; or you may simply find that you need to have space and time where you are not always “on” as a mom. It is perfectly reasonable for you to expect your room to be a private area or for your children not to go through your closets, drawers, etc. If you plan to set these boundaries it is important to be consistent and to make sure that if a child violates those boundaries or invades your privacy, you call them on it. You do not need to make a HUGE deal, but it is important to be appropriate and consistent in order to establish clear expectations around boundary and privacy issues.