When you look back over your years as a single parent and when you map the history of your family, chances are it will be those rights of passage that you remember—the firsts, the graduations, the shifts and changes that mark the major and important elements of family life. Many of us have been trained by media and others to think of those rights of passage in terms of the mythological “traditional” family and may be so busy that we do not take the time to create and celebrate the rights of passage within our own single parent families.
Those typical firsts and major growing up things—menstruating, shaving legs or face, starting and ending high school, getting a driver’s license, trips away from home, etc.—are just as likely to occur in a single parent home as any other. Unfortunately we might be too busy trying to make ends meet to really relax and enjoy or appreciate those ordinary rights of passage. Meanwhile, there might be some that would be ordinary to a two-parent family that are major for a single parent family—buying a new home or moving into a new or better neighborhood; a parent graduating from college, etc. We deserve to celebrate all of those rights of passages and accomplishments too!
Celebrate, appreciate and take notice of those rights of passage regardless of whether your family is made up of two people or twelve (or more)—just because we are busy single parents does not mean that our family milestones are not important and noteworthy too. It is up to us as the heads of our families to really take notice and make a fuss and let our children know that their milestones matter. Before you know it, your kids will be grown (trust me) and you will have those cherished rights of passage to mark your family history.