On Tuesday, we were privileged to make our son’s bris or circumcision ceremony. (b’h) According to Jewish law, a child should be circumcised the 8th day after birth, so long as he is healthy. We do not know the reason behind the mitzvah of circumcision; Abraham, the first Jew, was commanded by G-d to circumcise himself and since then, a circumcision is necessary to enter the covenant of Abraham.
Since the bris ceremony was held during the Nine Days of Av, a time of mourning for the Holy Temple, we ate fish instead of meat. We were very happy to see many of our friends and relatives there, although my mother couldn’t fly from America due to a recent operation. It is during the bris ceremony that the baby receives a name (it is difficult to know what to call a baby for the eight days between birth and a bris. I alternated between calling him “baby” and mixing him up with his brother, who looked like him when he was a baby.)
It is customary to keep the name a secret until the actual naming, but for our family, it was no secret what we wanted to name him. We called him Mordechai after my father-in-law, may his memory be a blessing, who passed away suddenly a year and a half ago. He had a heart attack on the beach while preparing to swim. He lived such a healthy lifestyle, we thought he was going to live well into his 90s, like is father.
When naming a Jewish child, the essence of the name has a powerful effect on the child’s character. It is written that it would be best if G-d could name all children, and in a way, he does. My father-in-law had many qualities that I would love to see in my sons. He developed a love of Torah late in life, after coming from a secular family and surviving the Holocaust. He the amazing forbearance of a survivor and underwent many calamities even after the war, including losing most of his money at one point and most of his eyesight. Still, he never complained, but approached life with cheerfulness and humility. We sorely miss him and hope much of his spirit will live on through our son.
At my two older son’s brissim, he was the sandek, or the person designated to hold the baby while the circumcision is being done. This is a very important role, and it is said that the character of the sandek has a profound effect on the baby. I am glad to say that the spirit of my father-in-law (thank G-d) lives on through all three of my sons, because he was the sandek at my two older son’s brissim, and my youngest is named after him.