Katie and Jeff met while they were both attending college. Katie was from a small town and Jeff came from one of the large cities just outside the area. They met during an anti-war rally and hit it off immediately. Soon they were spending all of their free time together. Right before graduation, Jeff asked Katie to marry him and they thought that their lives would go as planned. They had a little money saved up and planned on getting a small apartment as soon as they could. Both sets of parents liked their intended daughter and son-in-law. And everyone said that they made the perfect couple.
Everything seemed fine.
Jeff got his draft notice three weeks before the wedding. Katie was heartbroken, they would have to put their big wedding plans on hold and have a civil ceremony because Jeff would ship out right away. It seemed as though fate had dealt them a terrible hand.
Katie waited for Jeff and wrote him several times a week, but often the letters didn’t make it to wherever Jeff was. Time after time Katie’s letters went unanswered. She feared the worst, and watched the war on television as much as she dared-it upset her to no end. They hadn’t even gotten to know each other as well as they’d liked. They knew that they loved each other but the time newlyweds were supposed to spend together got put on hold as Jeff got ready to leave for “over there.”
Katie was desperately unhappy, and spent much of her free time at her church, involved with the women’s war support activities. They sent care packages and ran fund raisers and food drives. She talked long into the night with her pastor and with other wives-the support got her through some of the lowest points during Jeff’s tour of duty.
Finally came the day when Jeff was supposed to come home. Katie waited all day and into the night. When Jeff finally got out of a taxi, she ran to greet him. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked as though he hadn’t slept in a week. Although he was happy to see her, he went to bed immediately and didn’t get up for three days.
Katie called her pastor and asked him to come over. Jeff refused to see him at first, and his depression deepened. Finally Katie talked him into seeing the pastor and he began a very long healing process with his church to support him. He became hooked up with his V.A. center and began attending support groups for soldiers who had just come home. It was a very long time before Katie started to see the spark in his eyes that she had first fallen in love with.
This was during the Vietnam War, and so many young men did not come home the way they were when they first left. Through a long healing session and continued love and support from his wife and his church, Jeff was able to overcome most of the terror he had witnessed during his tour of duty.
Today we face a similar situation, post traumatic stress disorder was first researched when men returned from WW2, and continues to be the least talked about casualty of war. If you or a loved one has returned and can not come to grips with what has happened to them, we encourage you strongly to seek help within your church and community. Katie and Jeff were lucky-they stayed married and are now in their late sixties-but many young couples didn’t have the support of their faith to help them along.