Gift giving in a traditional family is difficult. You want to be fair to all the kids, and for some families this means the number of gifts, and for other families this can mean the cost of all gifts involved. Please remember that holiday’s are not about gifts, and there are much more important lesson’s to be learned, then materialism.
In a blended family, gift giving can be even more of a challenge. You might have a blended group that lives together full time, and this might go more like a traditional family. However, many blended families consist of children that visit, however often the courts have decided. This is where the gift giving can get tricky, but here are a few pointers, to keep things fair.
Just because a child doesn’t reside with you full time, does not mean they are any less deserving of gifts.
It is extremely important, that if you choose a gift for a child that might not reside with you full time, that you don’t demand that it stay at your home, unless it is followed up by something they might take to their full time home. This is one way that resentment can build. It really isn’t a whole lot different than dangling a piece of steak in front of a dog, and then popping it in your own mouth.
If you do purchase a gift that is exclusively for a child that might not reside with you full time and you expect them to leave it there, please do not allow the other children to use it when that child is not there. This will cause resentment between the children, which is extremely important to avoid.
Most younger children could care less about the cost of an item. This is when it is more important to just be fair in the amount of gifts given. Teens are more likely to understand that their iPod cost over $100 and so they might only be receiving that one gift.
If you don’t see your child on Christmas, and even if you have already celebrated early, or plan to celebrate late, remember to call them, or give the other parent a card to give them Christmas morning. Write a special message reminding them that they are loved. It is extremely hard for children when they don’t get to see both parents on a holiday.
Are there any other gift giving issues you face as a blended family?