Your Feelings
Talking about the other parent in your child’s life probably causes you some type of stress. Depending on the circumstances, these feelings toward the other parent may be good feelings or bad feelings. Either way stress is most likely involved. You had a history with the other parent and there are feelings there. Whether you are divorced or widowed there is a past. Some feelings involved with this situation may be bitterness, betrayal, mistrust, sadness, regret. Do not forget there were also the happy times.
Your Child’s Feelings
No matter how you feel toward the opposite parent, your child loves them. Most likely there was none of the ill feelings toward the child that took place between you and your previous spouse. They have no reason to not love their other parent. Their other parent is as special to them as you are.
Tread Lightly
Conversations regarding the other parent are bound to come up from time to time. It is inevitable. When they do you must be careful as to how you speak of the opposite parent. Do not give your child any personal history of the turmoil that took place between you and your previous spouse. It is not about them anyway, it is about you and the opposite parent. That is grown-up stuff and should stay that way. It has no place in a child’s innocent world. However, if a child is asking questions regarding what took place you do have to give them some type of an answer, which is better left at, “We did not agree on some things and could not get along with each other.” Do let your child know how much you and your former spouse loved each other when they came in to the world and how loved and wanted they were and still are. Be careful not to speak badly of the other parent in your child’s presence. This will only lead to the disrespect of your child towards you. Topics involving your former spouse will probably be strained, but for your child you must learn to answer any questions as honestly as you can without divulging too much information, and uphold the other parent to the best of your ability. In doing so your child will look at you with love and respect.
Angel Lynn writes in weight loss and single parenting