Experts are coming out with prophecies of doom and gloom about recession and its effect on marriage. Dr. Matthew Bambling, an Australian psychologist from Queensland University of Technology, has waned that ‘the impact of the economic crisis is bound to put emotional pressure on relationships.’ But it doesn’t have to.
Those of us who have been through loss of jobs, increased interest rates and problems trying to buy a home, have found that those hard times can actually bring a couple closer, if we let it. Talking recently with friends we laughed over some of the struggles we had financially when younger, and yet they were times of struggling together and still being happy.
Dr Bambling also urges that financial dreams may need to be ‘downsized.’ No fooling! For years it seems the trend has been to buying a brand new house and having all new furniture. We started with an older house that was hardly bigger than a shoe box and second hand furniture. Did we care? Not a bit. It was ours. Well sort of, though the major part belonged to the building society we’d borrowed the money from.
Many times we struggled to pay the mortgage but we did, though it often meant going without other things. Things like eating out and going out simply did not come into our budget at all. We had each other. That was what mattered.
‘When just being together is more important than what you do you are with a friend,’ my calendar said recently. I’d say ‘with the one you love.’
Dr Bambling also says couples need to talk to each other and to work together to improve the financial situation where possible. At times Mick and I had to find creative ways to supplement the income like delivering newspapers or catalogues, or making pot scourers at home. I kid you not! It was hard work for little pay, but it was something and we could do together. So long as we were together it didn’t matter. We could always talk and laugh about our situation.
People who work with those who are dying, tell us people never say, ‘I wish I’d had a bigger house, more money etc but ‘I wish I’d spent more time with those I love.’
After all,it is those we love and the relationship we have with them and time spent with them that makes us happy. Life and marriage is not about how much or how little money we have. So, the choice is ours. We can choose to let recession affect our marriage negatively. Or we can choose to communicate and work together to achieve realistic dreams rather than wanting the biggest and best of everything.
Please visit these related blogs
Money Strategies that Worked in Our Marriage
Coping with Job Loss as a Family
Recession Benefitting Your Marriage