I’ve just finished reading ‘This is Your Brain on Joy’ by Dr. Earl Henslin and found it fascinating reading. Although this book is about joy, it also provides a lot of help for marriage.
Since I love quizzes, I was particularly interested in the Amen Brain System Checklist, which was created by Dr Daniel G. Amen. It’s not a quiz where you have right and wrong answers, so much as one which helps identify the dominant parts of the brain from the five areas mentioned, and gives an indication of certain type of brain activity and personality, for example those who ‘show overactivity in the basal ganglia, the area of the brain associated with fear and anxiety.’ This could be a great help in understanding our marriage partner and how they react at certain times. I’ve yet to try the checklist on Mick but intend to.
Some of the other interesting points raised in the book included – would you encourage your marriage partner to learn something new? You could be doing you spouse a favor as learning something new ‘makes your brain cells become fruitful and multiply.’ In other words, learning something new helps him or her stay young. The book even suggested aiming for a new ‘learning experience each year.’
The book also suggested ‘what you eat may be affecting your moods and your marriage.’ Eating habits might affect your spouse’s moods and therefore your marriage, because certain foods ‘trigger cognitive inflexibility or mood problems,’ whereas other foods can have a calming effect.
One of the little gems (and there were a number in this book that I thought were particularly relevant in any relationship but especially in marriage) was, ‘it’s better to be loving than to always be right.’
The book also deals with narcissistic personality disorder, something readers of Beth’s blogs will be familiar with. There is also the reference to the person who has a sense of humor outliving those who don’t. Sounds to me, like a good reason to laugh with you spouse and share funny movies and funny experiences.
Maybe this could be a book you and your spouse could both read and then see what changes night come into your lives as a result?
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