If you are dating again after being single for several years expect some repercussions from your kids. This problem is not as significant if they are younger than if they are older, but could still happen.
There are a number of reactions that you may face when you tell your child that you are seeing someone. They could react with jealousy and/or dislike toward you, the person that you are seeing, or the both of you. They may refuse to meet them, or misbehave intentionally when they are around. As you probably are well aware, this will most likely be their tactic for scaring them away. You have been there for them 24/7 throughout their growing years and then all of a sudden, you have done something for yourself. Your attention is just a little bit on someone else and that much less on them and truthfully, they are scared. Scared that you will forget about them and scared that you will be taken from them.
Do not overreact. Sit them down and have a talk with them explaining that they will always be important in your life and be there for them. Let them know that even though you love them greatly, you need to do something for yourself. Let them know that even though you enjoy spending time with them, you need another adult to share with. Explain that the love for a parent and child is very different from the kind of love you get in a relationship with another person. Do not compare or contrast their other parent. Discuss with them why they feel the way that they do and take their views into consideration. Do not just shut them out by brushing off their opinions. They might see little things that bother them that you cannot see. Try to open your eyes, see through their eyes, and see if their concerns are warranted.
Adapting to your parent dating after being single will take some time in many cases. It is usually more difficult for a teenager to adapt to the situation just because of their erratic hormonal changes in their body. Younger children are typically quicker to come around.
Finally, do not push the situation. It is better for children to adjust in their own time. They will eventually see how happy you are with the person that you have chosen. If it is meant to be, they will see that this person is just right for you and they will be happy for you.
Angel Lynn writes in weight loss, single parenting, and health.