One of my favorite lines in a movie comes near the end of the movie Moonstruck. After several interesting adventures, the main character, played by share, is given a proposal of marriage as the family is seated around the breakfast table. Her mother turns to her after the proposal:
Rose: “Do you love him, Loretta?”
Loretta: “Ma, I love him awful.” Rose: “Oh, God, that’s too bad.”
While this is a funny moment (the fiancee is clearly a good guy, although complete with his own quirks), it is obvious that the mom is actually happy for her daughter, even though she, as a woman of experience, knows what her daughter is in for.
What do I mean?
Well, a key to this poignant moment comes earlier in the move, when Loretta wakes up her parents to tell them of an earlier proposal.
Cosmo Castorini: I don’t like him.
Rose: You’re not going to marry him, Cosmo. Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta: No.
Rose: Good. When you love them they drive you crazy because they know they can.
Love for your spouse is an incredible heady feeling. It makes you do all sorts of things that you might not otherwise do. It makes you accept things that might otherwise be unacceptable in your normal narrow world, and it makes you put the other person’s needs over your own. And you know what, you don’t mind.
Within the context of a loving marriage, you have permission to drive your spouse a little crazy without repercussion, because you know that your spouse loves you. You can be zany, you can be wacky, you can insist that the bedroom should be painted bright green or that a 70 pound dog will fit in a small one-bedroom apartment. And your spouse can go along with it all because of love.
Before my husband, I was a much more selfish person. I would not dream of doing someone else’s laundry, for example, or getting up from reading my favorite book so we could go out four-wheeling in the snow. But because I love him so much, there is no hesitation. I would go to the end of the earth for this man. He can drive me crazy, and that is too bad.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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