Disagreements aren’t always bad. In fact they can be good for your marriage. Better to have it out in the open that festering inside and the other person not knowing what is wrong.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ the other person replies, though obviously there is.
Then eventually the other person admits what the problem is.
The alternative is that they dwell on it so much that sooner or later everything little thing the other person does starts to aggravate until eventually the whole thing blows up and turns into a major argument that is not so easily dispensed with because too many other issues are then clouding the picture. If it is kept inside and not dealt with at all is that resentment and stress can cause health issues. How much better it would have been to have dealt with it earlier?
Recently I heard someone talking about their marriage. He said when he and his wife were younger they would have an argument and then the sulking and silent treatment would go on for a couple of weeks. To Mick and me this sounded bizarre. It seemed to suggest to us that the argument had never been effectively resolved if there was still this smoldering resentment.
I simply could not imagine going days, let alone weeks, with something like that hanging over my head. When Mick and I argue, as all married couples will at times, it is all out and then over and done with and we’ve talked it through and resolved the issue. We’re both great believers in not going to bed angry.
The main thing to be careful of in an argument is the way words wound and hurt. Words said cannot be unsaid. That’s why it’s better not to let things build up because when we do we can become careless with words and fling them like grenades, not stopping to think of the consequences. So the old ‘think before you speak’ or ‘count to 10’ is a good idea. I’ll deal with some other helpful tips regarding arguments on my next blog.
Please visit these related blogs
The Best Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage and Your Family
Dealing with Problems and Irritations in Marriage