You’ve decided that love is no longer in your marriage. You’re considering whether the smarter option is to split up and go your separate ways. Should you divorce? Would it make you happier? Not necessarily. That’s the findings of a summary of households and families in the US.
The report was conducted using information available from the National Survey of Family and Households. Of over 5200 married men and women interviewed in the 1980s, 645 people admitted that they were unhappily married. The same men and women were interviewed again five years down the track. Some had chosen to divorce, some had separated and others had elected to stay in the marriage relationship. But were those who had divorced happier than those who chose to stay in their marriages? No. Interestingly they were no happier than those who chose to remain married.
If the marriage had been unhappy and the people involved in it unhappy, why didn’t divorce solve the problem? The reason is because although it may have alleviated some sources of stress, it actually can create a whole raft of other problems. Among these are the responses of not only the spouse but also the children of that union. This in itself can cause untold stress and health issues, as people strive to come to grips with custody, child support and visitation issues.
Divorce may also increase financial problems for one or both partners as well as increase health problems. Getting divorced does nothing to reduce symptoms of depression. It does nothing to raise self esteem and can in fact have the opposite effect.
Obviously if the marriage is abusive or has other major problems, then divorce might seem to be the only option. But if it is just a general feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in the marriage, it appears getting a divorce will not solve the problem but could make it worse. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.
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