When my husband and I first started TTC (trying to conceive), my husband was thrilled about the prospect of frequent “action” and I was in love with the whole process of pinpointing my ovulation date. I was charting and researching constantly, and when I wasn’t charting, I was burning through fifty dollars worth of pregnancy tests. By the second cycle, my husband was already whining about being tired and I was getting sick of looking at the basal body temperature thermometer at 6am every morning. The third cycle, I had thrown up my hands by day 14 when we were both horribly sick with a cold and it just didn’t feel “right.” Go figure that was the month our son was conceived… to the tune of ACDC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Classic, right?
I’m a firm believer that the reason it worked that time was the fact that we weren’t so focused on my mantra of the time, “got to get pregnant NOW,” and instead, we had a little fun. I have several friends who finally conceived on vacations; and we all know plenty of couples who’ve had “accidents.” Maybe the stress of trying to conceive is sometimes what keeps us from doing just that.
It’s a controversial topic, but the American Society of Reproductive Medicine suggests that stress can impede a woman’s fertility, at least temporarily. According to their fact sheet on stress, “in an occasional woman, having too much stress can change her hormone levels and therefore cause the time when she releases an egg to become delayed or not take place at all.”
If you are finding that sex is no longer fun and the stress of TTC is becoming a little too much, try some of these suggestions:
- For one or two cycles, take a break: skip the charting, toss the ovulation kit out the window, and do the deed whenever you feel like it.
- Focus on your spouse and spending quality time together. Talk about something other than TTC.
- Take a mini weekend vacation and escape from the stresses of work and responsibilities.
- Don’t take a HPT unless your period is a few days late at the very least.
- Ask eager friends and family not to ask “are you pregnant yet?”
- Give yourself a break: even if everything is right, you only have a 20% chance of conception.
- Focus on staying healthy to prepare your body for pregnancy.