Forget the other issues of our time. The world is buzzing about the big announcement made last night by Jon and Kate Gosselin, of Jon & Kate Plus Eight. The couple is officially separating from each other and ending their marriage, all of this in front of millions of viewers. But what can we learn about our own marriages from the semi-intimate knowledge of the Gosselin marriage?
Communicate
I always thought that the interview couch was the most interesting aspect of the show. As each spouse talked about the events of the episode and answered questions, they almost seemed surprised by the things that were said, both by the their spouse and from their own lips. It was a vehicle for communication for them as well as interesting television. But it became obvious that the two of them weren’t doing a lot of communicating outside of that couch.
Tell Your Story
Talking about how you met, why you fell in love and other positive things about your marriage can reinforce the closeness that you feel and remind you both how wonderful you are together. For Jon & Kate, the focus was so much on how they had their children (well, it was the focus of the show), but seldom did they talk about their marriage story in a positive way. The one thing that stands out for me was a quote by Kate talking about how Jon had a girlfriend when they first met. The girlfriend was gone the next day. She focuses on a moment of personal triumph for her rather than the two of them coming together as a couple because it was meant to be.
Find Your Spouse in the Moment
There is no doubt that Jon & Kate have busy lives. Heck, most of us do. My husband and I have to attend to three small children, a fixer upper home, one office job and one work at home job, church, friends, and relatives that all threaten to take us away from each other. But we do try to focus on each other and find each other in the little moments. It takes some work sometimes to find that time alone or to orientate on one another when life’s craziness is all around you, but it is important to remember your focus. Don’t we too often concentrate our energy on things that aren’t quite as important as our spouse? This could be as big as a book deal or as small as an hour of television.
Think about it.
You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!
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