In marriage it’s not about what you own, not even sometimes about what you do. It’s about being together and enjoying each other’s company.
Since it was a beautiful sunny winter’s day, after lunch yesterday we bundled our little dog into the car and drove to one of the quiet beaches near us. It was not deserted as we’d expected but still only a few groups of people on the beach. Some brave souls were in the water. We were not two of them. We walked along the beach, sat for a while watching the teal water as they waves rolled into shore and then walked back to the car, happy just to be together.
Later we went up to the local video shop and borrowed a couple of DVDs. One was Marley and me, which friends had recommended as good for a laugh. All we wanted was something light. Two comments stuck out at me from that film. ‘One was, mend it. Don’t end it.’ Good advice for anyone who is undergoing tough times in marriage.
The other was, ‘Marriage and parenthood is the hardest job in the world.’ Okay no argument there. Having a good marriage and being a good parent is hard. But then nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. Jenny the wife went on to say, ‘No-one tells you how much you have to give up.’ This was the bit that concerned me. Too often it seems people in marriage are worried about what they have to give up rather than what they gain.
It strikes me as an immature, selfish attitude and one which is detrimental to the marriage. If you go into marriage with that attitude then you are always going to be looking for the faults and what is wrong and looking back over your shoulder at the life you had before, instead of looking ahead to making the best of the life you have together and enjoying your time together. Are you one of those looking at what you had to give up? Can I suggest you focus instead on what you have.
So, for example yesterday Mick and I didn’t do anything momentous but we enjoyed being together, talking and laughing together. When you’re with the one you love it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re together
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