Yesterday, we took a look at how anger works in the body — what it does to your hormones, your body language, your heart rate, and more. Anger isn’t just a mental state; it has an impact on the whole body.
Calming down can be a whole body process, too.
The instinctive reaction to anger is aggression. Anger is one way the body and mind respond to threats — like yesterday’s example of the reckless driver. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you may get mad because they have endangered your life. Maybe that anger makes you drive a little more aggressively, or honk your horn and do some creative swearing. Maybe you follow them home and bash in their windshield with a tire iron (I really don’t recommend this course of action.)
According to the American Psychological Association, the three most common ways of dealing with anger are: expressing it, suppressing it, and calming it.
Expressing your angry feelings is probably the healthiest way to deal with the emotion. Sometimes, just getting it off your chest in a clear, non-aggressive manner is enough.
Suppressing or redirecting your anger can be tricky. If you can turn the emotion into a more constructive behavior, great! However, if you’re just mushing the feeling down and not venting it in some way, you may end up turning that anger on yourself. This can cause health issues (like stress and depression) or behavioral issues.
Physically calming yourself may make it easier to deal with the emotional turmoil. Dealing with the physical reaction in the body can then free you to figure out how you want to respond emotionally!
- Work on slowing your breathing. Concentrate on where your breath comes from, and make sure you’re breathing deep, from the belly.
- Work on slowing your heartbeat. You may not have a biofeedback machine available for use, but you can turn on some music with a slow beat, keep up the deep breathing, or do some meditation.
- Physically release tension. Scrunch up as many muscles as you can — lift your shoulders, make your hands into fists, etc — and then relax them all.
- Change the scenery. Walk away from whatever is making you angry — even if it’s just for a few minutes. The change in scenery may help give you a change of perspective.
If you feel like you can’t control yourself, or like your anger is out of control, you may need help from a professional. The tips above might be useful for occasional anger, but are no substitute for talking to your doctor.