Growing up I always heard countless stories about how enthusiastic my dad was about having us two girls. There are tons of pictures in our family albums that show him holding us with a huge smile on his face. I can’t remember the things we did together during those first few years, but there are a whole lot of photos to prove we had a really good time. I saw these photos growing up and they made a lasting impact on me. To this day, I can look at one of those pictures and I am reminded of how much my dad loves me.
Not every guy is so excited about spending time with his baby. It’s not uncommon for dads to feel like they don’t have much to contribute to their babies’ lives. Babies are very dependent on their moms and sometimes grow very attached. This can leave the dad feeling like the baby prefers the mom and he may detach himself a little bit as a result. They tell themselves they will develop a relationship with the child when they are not so dependent on the mom and are able to play in a way the dad can enjoy. They look forward to throwing a ball around and taking the kids out for ice cream. They say things like, “I just don’t know what to do with a baby. I can’t wait until she gets older.”
Waiting until a child gets older to start spending quality time with him or her is a big mistake. Building a relationship with a child is a process that happens over time. It’s true that a three year old does not remember life before she could run, but anyone could observe that she is closer to certain people than others. It’s no coincidence. Bonding with a child early in life is important in establishing a close relationship. The child may not remember specific events, but the feelings of trust and love that she experienced with a devoted parent will be strongly embedded in her memory. Those feelings will form the foundation for a close relationship with the parent throughout her childhood. I don’t need photo albums or stories about my childhood to know my dad has always loved me; it’s just something I have always known. It was written on my heart before I ever learned to doubt.
If you are a father, don’t waste one more minute. Spend quality time with your kids, whether they are 2 days old or 2 years old. It will have a lasting impact on them for the rest of their lives.