Cillian isn’t even a month old yet but I’ve already learned a great deal of things about being a dad during this first month.
1.Your babies name is important (geneology, uniqueness, etc…)
People start getting ideas about you and your child because of their name. There was a reason my wife and I didn’t choose certain names for our children, often because people with bad personal qualities carried those names. After the first announcement of our son’s birth a flood of questions came in regarding the name. What is the name? Why did you choose the name? Did you know this about the name? Did you know “X” about that name? These questions also accompanied statements: That’s an interesting name. What a unique name! My father/mother/brother/sister/cousin/etc has that name. My wife and I thought long and hard about the name (as most people do) and we’re glad we did. Names are important.
2.Your child makes you older.
There’s nothing like a really young child to make you feel old. My son will be 91 years old in the year 2100. I’ll be dead (probably). My son was born after the year 2000. His friends will think I’m old (and I will be). But my son will also carry parts of me with him beyond my own life. He may well pass down traits and stories to his own children and on and on into the future. So, while I feel old, I’ll also live longer.
3.Children are an indescribable joy!
The birth of a child is bizarre and wonderful. Emotions don’t make sense, logic doesn’t make sense, there is no proper preparation because you are able to hold a little you who can look at you and interact with you and grow up and be and do anything. You’re not seeing yourself in a mirror but in another person and it is a surreal experience.
4.Labor is tough for Dads too.
If you love your wife labor is going to be hard for you because it’s hard for her. There is no preparation for this either. You do your best despite the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing. I thought I’d be more prepared and in control but I now realize there is no such thing.
5.Businesses are businesses, even if they sell baby stuff.
Just because a store sells baby stuff doesn’t mean that they’re any more friendly or reasonable than your favorite unethical businessman at huge conglomeration on the corner of main street downtown. They’re in it for money and you need to protect yourself, your investments, and your children.
6.Visiting family is wonderful.
Family is always wonderful especially after the birth of a child. They are helpful and supportive and generally uplifting.
7.Visiting family is hectic!
They also disrupt whatever schedule may be developing in your new life with a baby and clutter your mind with additional items to further confuse your already impaired sense of time, place, and self.
8.Dad’s can bond with babies.
Mom will have her hands full (especially if she’s breastfeeding) with the baby but Dad may well feel left out. However, there is at least one time when Dad can certainly bond with a baby and that is by feeding the child (a primary need!) through the use of a bottle. This is important and also relieving for Dad, who largely holds a crying or sleeping baby.
9.Poop is gross.
Auntie Em’s favorite word is “poop.” She denies this, but uses the term to refer to bad smells, tasks, words, and occasionally people. This evening, as I was removing my son’s excrement by hand under running cold water (to preserve his cute baby clothes) I realized that poop is poopy. Thanks Auntie Em!
10.Your life will change.
It hasn’t yet been 3 weeks and life has already changed. The fact that the future is uncertain, the schedules are imprecise, and the routines ever changing doesn’t help my understanding of next week, let alone the next hour. However, the change is certainly for the better. I’m very much looking forward to my son learning how to smile. That’s a nice thought that will become a nice reality to be followed by an untold life. Isn’t fatherhood wonderful?