Mary Ann Romans recently wrote about Disciplining Other People’s Kids and I have to say I agree with every word she wrote. As I finished reading it however my first though was, “but my kids are older, and that is not a problem anymore…”, then I thought again.
When your kids are little, like in Mary Ann’s case, then you have to deal with little kid type discipline. When your kids are teens, you have to deal with teen type discipline. If you are not firm at this stage and set limits, you are in for a world of hurt.
In most cases, teens are on their best behavior when visiting someone else’s house, but there are some teens that are just comfortable every where they go, or they have been with you enough to feel comfortable so they relax a little. At this point the best behavior goes out the window and they are their real selves. While I have to admit that I love this stage of relationship with teen friends of my kids, it is not always easy.
Discipline goes beyond telling them to wash their hands before they eat and to not hit each other. You will have to deal with inappropriate language. You may have to intervene when they are being verbally abusive to each other. You may need to keep them from doing dangerous stunts in your driveway. You may need to prevent certain boy-girl behaviors. You may need to bust them for drinking. You may need to take away their car keys if they show up at your house inebriated. You may need to send them home when they become out of line. This may be difficult to you and it may be difficult for your kids as you might ’embarrass’ them. But, if you let guests in your house behave in a way that your own kids are not allowed to behave in, it will be just a matter of time before you lose control of your own kids too. At this point you may as well leave home and let them take over the house.
Will the teens parents get mad that you disciplined their kid? Who cares. As long as you discipline with your mouth and not your hands, and don’t use inappropriate language, the parent ought to be happy that you cared enough to say something when their kid was out of line. If not, they probably won’t let their kid go back to your house again and the problem will be solved.
Now for anyone that thinks this gives them the right to be mean to their kids’ teen friends, think again. You should never treat someone else’s kid worse than you would treat your own… and if you treat your kids poorly, you should either be on your best behavior, or just not allow your teen to bring other kids home.
If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.
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