Today I’m going to talk about what I see as a destructive element in marriage and one that many people fall too easily into. The problem is being a tattle tale.
Now I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up I was always taught not to be a tattle tale. ‘Nobody likes a tattle tale,’ my mother said. A wise woman, my mother.
In school there was nothing considered worse than being a tattle tale or as kids in Australia call it a ‘dobber.’ Yet it’s something I hear husbands and wives doing all the time to their spouses.
Recently I’ve seen several examples where the husband or wife has been telling tales to a group of people about their spouse. In some case the spouse was present and had to sit there while others laughed at their expense, or were critical of their behavior. Why would you subject your spouse to ridicule or criticism? Putting them in a bad light is not showing love and loyalty to your spouse.
In other cases the spouse was absent,and so it was like the husband or wife was taking pot shots at them behind their back. This is even worse.
In the first example the criticized spouse could have at least defended themselves. The danger is then that could easily turn into a full blown argument. But sooner or later comments made to others without their knowledge find their way back to the spouse. How do you think it makes them feel to know their marriage partner has been sharing their foibles and failures with others? Neither of these two practices is good for a marriage.
This week my husband could have highlighted at least one incident when my attitude and behavior was not what it should have been. But I know, he won’t be telling others about it. That’s the difference. He knows he can trust me not to tell others his failings and I know I can trust him not to tell tales about me either.
How much better for a marriage to share with others the great things your spouse does, or the times when he has supported or helped you? Don’t forget to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and thank them as well.
Related blogs
Can Self-Control Be a Bad Thing?
Gossip and Loyalty in Marriage