After reading Extreme Punishments by Michelle Cheplic I wondered to myself, maybe fathers should not dole out punishments to daughters at all. When dealing with correcting daughters, fathers tend to make one of two fatal mistakes.
1. They let the daughter get away with everything in an effort to be the good or fun parent. In this case, the girl learns that men are pushovers and spends her life trying to manipulate men.
2. They not only break her out of bad habits but they also break her will. In this case, the daughter learns that men can be cruel and then either avoids them or falls into an abusive relationship.
What it comes down to is the daughter will choose her spouse based on her relationship with her dad. Because she will probably love and idolize her father regardless of how he treats her, she will be likely to choose a man based on the qualities of her father, both good and bad.
Mother’s and their daughters have a different kind of relationship. While mom may not like correcting her daughter when she is out of line, especially if it means she is always made out to be the bad guy, chances are, she will be more level headed about it. For stealing she may escort her daughter back to the store to return the goods or pay for it. For lying, she may take away a cell phone for a couple of weeks. Moms tend to temper their reactions when punishing girls, when Dad’s just seem to lose their tempers.
A list of other things Dads should know not to do to or say about their daughters.
Do not call you daughter a rude little pig when you are really mad at her mother.
Do not tell the world that you would throw your 13 year old daughter into volcano.
Do not use an electric dog collar to chastise your kids.
Do not chain your daughter to her bed because you think she is overweight.
Sure there are some mom’s who are just as bad as some of the others listed. After abusers are just that… abusers. Mom’s need to be careful too especially with their sons as they tend to let boys get away with a lot more then their daughters. When they are not ignoring bad behavior, the nag he boy to death forcing him to put distance between himself and his mom. Dads are probably better at disciplining boys as they tend to deal with the issue once, though sometimes harsh, and then move on.
When it comes to girls though, I think fathers should be saved for rewarding their daughters whenever possible. Follow examples like the Steve Monforto’s of the world who rewarded his daughter with a big hug even when tossed back the foul ball that her dad caught at the Philadelphia Phillies baseball game.
I guess in the end it comes down to dads who don’t know how to give out unconditional love should never punish their daughters.
If you liked this you should also read my other posts at the home blog, the homeschooling blog, the parents blog, and the frugal blog. You can read my recent posts here.