You may have heard the term, “Free-Range Kids.” Author Lenore Skenazy has written a book about this topic. I admit that I haven’t read this book, so I can’t review it directly, but I know several parents who have. One thing about the book and the whole “Free-Range Kids” idea is that it is definitely controversial.
Skenazy’s website gives a bit of detail about her thoughts and advice. Basically, she advocates for allowing kids more freedom from parents, such as allowing a child to walk alone to school or ride a bus alone. She calls it, “sane parenting.”
Here is a quote from her website: “We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail. Most of us grew up Free Range and lived to tell the tale.”
While I think that it is true that there has been some ridiculousness going on lately, I’m not sure that I can agree or let go enough to practice the idea in completeness. I shake my head in disbelief at the fact that my son is not allowed to bring hand sanitizer to school because it contains alcohol. Then again the fact that I even mention hand sanitizer probably indicates that I am not a sane parent in Skenazy’s world.
I walk my child to the bus stop, even though it is at the end of our driveway. I don’t let my children cross the street alone or wander about the neighborhood without supervision. I admit that when they play in the backyard alone, I constantly peak out of the kitchen window, and I was one of the only parents who elected to stay at a birthday party that was given at a very busy public place where there were plenty of “strangers” present. I even “take in” other kids whose parents have inadvertently locked them out of their homes or who were left on their own and missed the bus to school.
You see, the argument that most of us were free-range kids and survived just doesn’t go well with me. Growing up in the city, I saw many kids who barely or didn’t survive. The boy who was seriously injured by a car while playing alone in the street. The other boy who lost his arm when he wandered too close to machinery at a construction site. The girl who was raped at age 11 by a neighbor. The other girl who suffered third degree burns from sliding down a salt hill. The boy who disappeared one day and has still not returned. I could never imagine letting a nine-year-old wander NYC alone.
And while I certainly don’t want to raise kids who are reluctant to take their place in the world, who are afraid of it, or who are unprepared for it, I view my role seriously as protector, nurturer and teacher. It is my job to prepare them for life.
So, while I try to provide plenty of opportunity for my kids to explore their world and act independently, I recognize that they are still just kids. I’ll continue to be around, with myself or another responsible, if not sane, adult standing in the background. The best part is when I can come along for the ride, building fairy houses, sliding down the death-defying slide, talking to chipmunks and otherwise participating with my kids on their adventures.
What do you think?
You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!
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