Are you free to be yourself in your marriage? Or do you always feel you have to be on your best behavior or changing the way you act or the things you say or even truing to change your feelings to accommodate your spouse?
One of the things I like about my marriage is that I am free to be myself. Because really I don’t know any other way to be anyway. I’m not good at pretending to be something I’m not or with other people who pretend to be something that they’re not.
The other night Mick and I were watching a DVD Something New. I admit to being a big Simon Baker fan. If you haven’t seen it, this movie is a romantic comedy but it also raises some interesting points about race and prejudice. The quote that stuck out to me in the movie though was from Kendra, ‘I know you must think I’m combative, neurotic, picky… And maybe I am. But the weird thing is, I’ve never had to be anything but myself with you right from the beginning. And with you I feel like I can do anything, say anything, try anything. And that’s the life I want. I want an adventure with you. You don’t understand, we’re supposed to be together.’
I agree that’s how it should be in a marriage – that you accept your spouse they way they are and they accept you and don’t try and change you. You are each free to simply be yourself. I don’t think that necessarily mean carte blanche to say whatever you like whenever you like though. We still need to use common sense and wisdom and tact in any relationship.
It doesn’t mean you won’t change either in the course of a marriage. Sometimes we change without even being aware of it. Some spouses grow more like each other in ways and attitudes they longer they are together.
What it does mean though is that we can relax. Not be complacent about our marriage but just relax and be who we are.
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