The holidays can be very stressful on a marriage. While the television specials and the Hallmark cards often paint a picture of romantic bliss, the reality is that there are several things going on that can actually work on keeping you apart, or at least annoyed with each other.
I’ll be going through some of the common marital stress issues that come up during the holidays, along with some advice about how to overcome them and enjoy the season.
You know about the old saying that you don’t get to choose your relatives? Well, of course the one exception is your spouse, so try no to take the family antics out on your most important relative.
Whether it is the classic demanding mother-in-law or your own blood relations, presenting a united front is important.
One issue that tends to come is where to spend the holidays. I have seen couples that split apart, each to go back to his or her own natal family to celebrate. I’m not a big fan of this solution. Instead, agree to rotate or just have everyone over to your home. The extra work may be worth avoiding the conflict.
It is important to create your own traditions that work for your immediate family, which would be yourself, your spouse and your children. While it is nice to be aware of the needs to the extended family, trying to please everyone is a recipe for disaster.
One important thing with relatives is to just let it all go. If someone complains about how dry your turkey is, how you never spend enough time with one side or another or how inconvenient it is to travel out of the holidays, just smile and realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. As long as you and your spouse can come together an make decisions without the relatives, then you should be fine.
Also a special note to remember about parents in-law. Whatever their flaws, they did manage to raise a wonderful person!
You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!
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