Recently a group of women sat together around the table. The eight women were a mixture: a couple were on their second marriage while others had been married once or twice and had no intention of doing it ever again. As one woman said, ‘Once was enough.’
Of all the eight women only two could say, ‘If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I’d get married again. But only if it was to the same man – my husband.’
The other woman of the two said, ‘I’m happily married and have never regretted being married to my husband ever during any of those days.’
The two who had a positive view of marriage have both been married over 40 years and yes, I was one of that two.
At the time I thought what a sad comment it was on the state of marriage that only a quarter of those at the table were positive about their marriages and wondered if the general negativity reflected the general population.
Then there’s the couple, Bob and Elaine, who met when she was 16 and he was 19. They married six years later, and opened a business, working together in a sports and toy store. Together they had two sons and a daughter and this man considered his family his biggest achievement and his wife ‘his true love.’
Interestingly in the article I read about this man who had recently died, it spoke mostly of his ‘selflessness and concern for others.’ Whether it is within social or service groups and organizations in the community, or in marriage, I’d suggest that’s the key, – selflessness and concern of others. Add to that one other thing – respect. Put those together with love and it sounds a pretty good basis for any marriage.
If more of us had those attitudes maybe marriage today wouldn’t be in such a sad state.
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