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Choosing the Wedding Over the Marriage

When you think of marriage, what is the picture that comes to your head? Long easy days of spending time together, building a life together, compromise, love, fidelity, privacy, support, raising children, sex, security, faithfulness, companionship, intellectual stimulation, closeness, a long beautiful gown, being a princess for a day, being chosen, being the center of attention, tulle or silk, flowers, gourmet food?

If the last part of that list seemed a little off to you, that is a good thing. So many young people, young women especially, focus on all of the things related to the actual wedding. Often, more time is spent preparing and agonizing over the wedding details than actually considering the marriage. Many men and women know more details about the flowers at their wedding than they do about their partner’s financial style or hopes for the future.

Couples can spend more time debating about seating arrangements than about how they will handle dividing up housework, bill paying and other household duties.

The problem then, is after the wedding, the wonderful beautiful wedding, what comes next? Some brides, in particular, can get depressed. Instead of moving on, they pour over the photos and video from their weddings, trying to live on the memories and the fun.

Having a wedding can be more than just fun, of course. There is something to be said about the ritual and witnessing before family and friends that two people are now a committed couple, that their status has changed to something more serious and solemn.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating your marriage, but how many couples choose the wedding over the marriage when it comes to their focus? A wedding can take a year or more to plan in some cases, but then it is over. A marriage can last for 40 or 50 years or more.

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About Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, online content manager, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania in the middle of the woods but close enough to Target and Home Depot. The author of many magazine, newspaper and online articles, Mary Ann enjoys writing about almost any subject. "Writing gives me the opportunity to both learn interesting information, and to interact with wonderful people." Mary Ann has written more than 5,000 blogs for Families.com since she started back in December 2006. Contact her at maromans AT verizon.net or visit her personal blog http://homeinawoods.wordpress.com