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What’s In It For Me?

It seems people on the whole can’t do something to help others without there being something in it for them. Every now and then in our mail box, we get letters wanting us to buy tickets in an art union. It’s couched in the fact that you’re helping others with a disability or whatever the particular charity is but in reality it’s playing on people’s selfishness and the idea of ‘what’s in it for me.’

That’s also the principle behind many of the con merchants. They play on people’s gullibility and greed. Our advertisers do it too, perhaps a little more subtly, convincing people they simply must have this or that product because they deserve it or they’re worth it.

What does this have to do with marriage? Plenty. This attitude carries over into marriage.

Too often people appear to go into marriage for what they can get out of it whether it is love, acceptance, status, and security, financial or material benefits. How often do any of us go into marriage thinking about what we can give or about what we can bring to the other person? Do any of us stop to think often enough about how we can serve our spouse or what we can do to help, encourage, support and appreciate out life partner?

As we’re coming up to Valentines Day this would be a good place to start. Maybe work on an appreciation box like Mary Ann mentioned in an earlier blog. Maybe give your spouse the gift of times where you will serve them by taking over tasks they normally do, so that they can do something else they’d really like to do. Maybe you can slot yourself into taking the children to the park or the movies or taking the car to be serviced or walking the dog or whatever it is needs doing to let your spouse have some free time.

If we put our thinking caps on I’m sure we could come up with ideas to serve or please our spouse. I’d love to hear some of yours. That way we can help and inspire each other to improve our marriages.

Related blogs

The Number 1 Attitude

A Radical View of Marriage?

His and Her’s Bank Accounts

The Culture of Marriage

What Sort of Marriage is This?

Get Started on the Appreciation Box for Valentine’s Day