What makes people get married? From comments I’ve had recently on certain articles and from discussions in the forum, I have to wonder what makes people get married.
When I read or listen to what some people say about their spouse, I have to wonder why they married them at all. Did the person change so much after they were married as though had been putting up a front and then suddenly let down their guard? Did they not take enough time to get to know the person and went solely on a physical attraction – more lust than love? Did they know what the person was like and then think they’d change them after they were married?
From what I hear, some people don’t even like their spouse. Can you love someone if you don’t like them? That’s my question today. I’d love to hear your input on any or all of the questions I’ve raised so far.
What’s the solution? I don’t think people necessarily need long engagements. In fact at times long engagements can be a bad thing. It can mean one of the couple has a fear of real commitment, it can mean couples are putting finances and other considerations above their relationship and to my mind that’s never good.
What you do need though if you plan to have a shorter engagement is make sure you’re spent enough time together talking to really know each other. Put aside the romantic guff, forget about wedding dresses and flowers and honeymoons and all the romance of weddings and think about the marriage.
Think seriously about being married. Can you imagine living with that person for the rest of your life? Not in some romantic dream world but in reality. Can you imagine waking up next to them every day? Can you imagine going through all the good and bad times together, putting up with financial struggles, illness or whatever life throws at you? Can you imagine putting up with all sorts of hassles so long as you are together? If you can’t, then maybe you’re not ready for marriage or you haven’t yet found the right one.
Related blogs
Disagreements Aren’t Always Bad for Your Marriage
Are You Eroding Your Marriage?