Sometimes as women we can take the mothering role too far and end up not only mothering our children but our husbands. This is not good for any relationship.
The truth is women, on the whole, are born organizers. How often have you said to your husband ‘Don’t forget you were going to…’ whatever it might be. But to keep reminding your husband about what he should do comes across as nagging and what happens then is that many men tend to switch off and resist. Come to think of it many women do it too when people hassle them and keep harping on certain things.
That’s not to say we should never remind our husbands of things they need to remember. There are times when it is appropriate. The trick is learning to pick those moments and not feel you have to constantly organize him as he can’t be trusted to remember.
Last year Mick took up learning a new skill, something I greatly admire him for doing. Towards the end of the year he decided to give it a rest for a while. I wasn’t a hundred percent convinced this was a good idea. My fear was that he might not return to it. I did mention that briefly – once.
Many times over the course of the last few weeks I’ve been tempted to say,’ Don’t forget you were going to ring about…’ I refrained, believing he needed to decide himself if that’s what he wanted to do, not have me pushing him into it. The other day he made the call and is getting ready to start again. He did it without any prompting from me.
Sometimes though, it is a fine line between mothering and looking after your spouse. What about the woman who says to her husband? ‘You shouldn’t have another cake. You know the doctor said you need to watch your sugar intake.’ Mothering or smothering? He is a grown man shouldn’t be he be able to decide for himself if he wants one or not. What do you think?
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Essentials for a Happy Lasting Marriage
Essentials for a Happy Marriage – Part 2