Over the years many of my friends have been guilty of at least one of the annoying habits listed below. Although they’re famous for trying to make me feel better, help out, and be supportive, at times they can do the exact opposite. As a single parent, have you run across any of these situations?
Friends Who Ask About Your Ex
Whether you’ve been divorced for six months or six years, for some reason I always run into friends who want to know how my ex is doing. Since we didn’t part on the best of terms, I honestly don’t worry about how he’s doing. I know they mean well and are just trying to start a conversation, but this is a topic that is way down on my list, right after, “How did that root canal sans anesthesia go?”
Sometimes I bristle for a moment, but then I simply reply, “I’m not sure since I don’t talk to him. If you ever see him around, maybe you can ask him yourself.” I then finish that off with a sweet smile of finality. That’s usually enough to end the subject and get onto something better, such as how much healthier I am now, and how I truly can make ends meet.
Friends Who Try To Fix You Up
For some reason, being single around non-single people makes them uneasy. They have this intense need to hitch you up with anyone who just happens to be single as well.
A few times I made the mistake of being polite and saying, “Sure, maybe your friend and I can meet for coffee sometime.” Not more than ten minutes later my phone would ring and it would be the friend of the friend asking when I’d like to meet up. This was always uncomfortable for me and I never felt a spark with any of these “hookups.” I like getting to know someone first, and preferably meeting them on my own terms.
Friends Who Insist You’re Lonely or Antisocial
Contrary to what my friends thought when I was single for so long, I wasn’t an oddball or antisocial simply because I didn’t want to go to clubs, bars, parties, or jump from one relationship to another until I finally found Mr. Right. I was having fun living my life and pursuing my dreams, and for awhile I didn’t feel the need to share it with anyone. Sure, I got lonely at times, but the feeling passed. I needed time to find myself, and I did just that. I even dress differently now.
It’s never a good idea to simply get into a relationship out of sheer loneliness or desperation. I wanted true love, not true lust or simply a way to combat those lonely times. And I certainly didn’t want to get into another relationship simply for financial reasons.
Naturally, I wouldn’t trade my friends for anything, and I know their hearts were in the right places when they slipped up and crossed the line at times. I’m sure we single parents can be a bit annoying to married couples, especially when we gripe about our failed marriages or other unique-to-single-people issues.
What I tried to do when encountering one of these scenarios was to realize that my pals were simply trying to be helpful and I thanked the heavens that I had people in my life who truly cared enough to get involved.