From birth to about 5 months of age, our baby was a terrific sleeper. She went to sleep relatively easy, and she slept from about midnight to 7:30am pretty early on. We thought we had it made. We heard stories from friends and family with babies who were exhausted because their little ones woke multiple times during the night, needing to eat or be held. Every time I heard these stories, I thought, “Wow, we sure are lucky. If she’s this good of a sleeper already, it can only get better. I’ll be getting 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep in no time.”
When I look back now through bleary, watery, bloodshot eyes, I sometimes wonder if it was all a dream. Sleeping for 7 ½ hours every night? My baby couldn’t possibly have done that – at least not the one living in my house these days.
You know how it’s typical for a newborn to eat every 2-3 hours around the clock? Apparently, my baby thinks she’s a newborn again.
Her nursing patterns have been changing lately. It used to take her about 15-20 minutes to eat; now, it takes less than five. When she ate back in the “good ol’ days,” nothing could distract her from the task at hand. All she cared about was getting her milk. Now, if she hears any sort of noise, she’s pulling off (ouch!), craning her neck, wanting to be a part of the action. The biggest change – big because it affects me, of course – is that she is wanting to eat all night long.
I can pretty well predict what my nights will be like these days: Put baby in bed at 9:30pm, feed her at 11:30pm. Fall back asleep, wake up to feed her again around 2:30am. Hear some cries at about 5:00am, give her a binky, hold on to foolish hopes that the binky is all she really wants, mutter under my breath when it doesn’t work, and finally give in to feeding her at 5:30am. Drag myself out of a deep sleep only enough to pull a boob out and give it to my daughter around 8:00am. Get up and get ready for the day at 9:00 (only after feeding the baby, of course).
I feel like our nighttime routine is getting a little ridiculous. I’ve tried so many different things: offering a binky; picking her up until she stops crying, then laying her back down; patting her butt and shushing her to try to comfort her. We even tried giving her some solids, hoping they might keep her full longer, but she wasn’t interested. Nothing works.
I know that she is of an age where she is “able” to sleep through the night without eating. In the middle of the night, I tell her, “Tomorrow I am letting you cry. No more of this nonsense!” When it comes down to it, though, I can’t. My gut instinct is telling me that she really is hungry and needs the food. I can’t justify withholding calories from a little body that growing and developing so rapidly. There are still times when I wake up in the middle of the night, starving, and quickly down a granola bar, and the only thing growing on me is my gut.
So, I drag myself through another day, short on sleep but loving life as a mom. This too shall pass.
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