No matter what the situation is whether it’s work, sport or marriage you need to know what’s needed. For example at work you need to know what you have to do and what the boss expects of you before you can do it. On the tennis court you need to know what your partner expects, which balls you will go for if they come down the middle of the court and which they will take and you know you’re expected to play to the best of your ability. Why then do we think it should be any different when we come to marriage?
In marriage your partner needs to know what to expect and you need to know what you can expect from them. But how often do we think our spouse ought to just know what we we’re thinking, or what we mean which is sometimes sadly not what we say, or what we want?
The whole point is your spouse is not a mind reader and the reality is that men and women often look at things differently. You might think it is quite logical that the washing up needs to be done or some other household chore while you are doing something else, but unless you tell him or better still ask if he’d mind washing up, it’s quite likely he won’t even notice and will carry on doing what he is doing.
From the man’s point of view, he might think it is obvious that the car needs to be filled up with gas before she can drive it anywhere. The reality is she not likely not to even notice. I know because I’m one who doesn’t notice. Fortunately I have a husband who understands I won’t look at it and that I hate having to fill the car up so he always makes sure it is done before I need to take it anywhere.
They’re only little examples but they are the kind of things that when you’re busy can be really annoying. So next time your spouse doesn’t seem to be co-operating, it might just be because they haven’t noticed what needs doing. It’s only takes a polite request to elicit the right response.
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