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A Sleepy Confession

bed time

A couple of nights ago, it took my daughter ages to fall asleep. I know this. How do I know this? Well, when my daughter was a baby I had a rotten, rotten little sleeper. I tried just about everything, but I couldn’t quite make myself leave her to cry. I did try a couple of times, but I relented. After all, she needed me. And you know what? When her teeth finally came in, she began to sleep through the night. I think that she is very sensitive to pain.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve committed one of the cardinal sins of early parenting: my daughter still needs me when she falls asleep. Now that she is four, we go through our bed time routine and then I sit on the bed and sing a good night song. We talk for a few minutes, then I tell her that it’s time to go to sleep. I sit there until I hear her snoring. Usually this takes a maximum of fifteen minutes, although some nights it takes much more. Since I freelance after she goes to bed, it does eat into my work time. However, I enjoy it.

After a long day at work or a challenging day at home, it’s wonderful to sit in the cozy darkness with your child, rubbing her back and singing. No matter how grouchy we’ve both been during the day, we’re never angry at each other at bed time. It’s a lovely, snuggly time and I cherish it. Yes, this means that it can be hard for me to go out at night, although her dad can sometimes put her to bed. Yes, this also means that I can’t go on road trips or run for that coveted position that I want that involves travel.

But my daughter is four. She is getting big. This fall, she starts kindergarten. In a few years she’ll be experiencing tween angst. In the meantime, I will sit quietly in the darkness and snuggle her as she cuddles against me, and I will enjoy that moment.

(Image courtesy of hamletnc at stock exchange)