“You love your computer more than me!”
Yup, Hallmark’s got nothing on my kindergartner.
When it comes to Mother’s Day greeting cards that hit you right where it hurts, nothing cuts deeper than a piece of blue construction paper featuring the words: “Mommy, you lov yor comptr mor ten me” written in colorful Blendy Pens.
As a work at home mom, who makes a living writing and editing, I am forced to spend an inordinate amount of time at my computer. However, the majority of my work is done between the hours of 2 and 7 a.m. (when my daughter is sleeping) and 8:30-11:30 a.m. (when my daughter is at school). Granted, I answer emails periodically throughout the day, but I am very mindful of my daughter’s presence and have toiled for years to arrange my work schedule, so that it doesn’t compromise my duties as a mother.
Apparently, I’m not doing such a great job. At least according to my pre-Mother’s Day card.
Lucky for me, when it comes to getting homemade greeting cards, everyday is Mother’s Day around here. My daughter cranks out more hand-designed cards in a single day than Hallmark, American Greetings and Blue Mountain Arts does in a month. Of course, not all of my daughter’s Blendy Pen creations are filled with flowery prose, heartwarming haikus, and affectionate affirmations.
Sure, I’ve collected a treasure chest of homemade cards painstakingly printed with the words: “I LOVE YOU MOMMY!” and “I wnt to hug you fovr,” but those happy puppy, rainbow and flower-covered creations are tempered with more than a few dagger-to-the-heart reality checks, such as this year’s pre-pre Mother’s Day card that featured a huge frowning face and the words: “Dear Mommy, ples pla wit me nt yor comptr. You dot love me. I ned a dog.” (Translation: “Please play with me and not your computer. You don’t love me. I need a dog.”)
Never mind that I spend practically every waking moment catering to my kid’s every whim, 16/7 just doesn’t cut it in her world.
I am far from the perfect mom, and I have a stack of scribbled cards to remind me of that fact. Still, I’ll settle for a truckload of humbling handwritten masterpieces over a bunch of store bought cards that wax poetic about some generic mother any day.
The truth may hurt, but no one said motherhood was a pain-free experience.
When you care enough to send the brutal truth, Hallmark doesn’t come close to delivering like your kid.