Apart from the fact we’re both Aussies, I never thought I’d have anything in common with Nicole Kidman. I’m not young or beautiful or a movie star. So what do we have in common?
The other day I briefly caught Nicole Kidman talking about marriage. She maintains the best idea for marriage is not to spend too much time apart – no more than three days if possible. I agree – wholeheartedly.
Recently I was contemplating applying for a particular fellowship to do with the writing. The moment I found out it would require me being away for a whole month without Mick, I lost interest. I’m not prepared to spend a whole month away from him. I spent a week once and that was too long.
I hear of couples who take separate holidays. To me such an idea is ludicrous. If they don’t enjoy relaxing and spending time together then what made them get married to begin with? If they are bored with each other, I don’t think getting away from each other is the answer. I’d be more inclined to suggest it needs to be spending more time together, working on their marriage, getting to know each other again and doing fun things together, away from the usual routine. What do you think? How much time part do you spend from your spouse? Is it a good thing or bad thing to spend time apart?
To me, marriage is about wanting to make a life with the other person and doing things together, sharing the good and the bad times, not taking a break from each other. It sounds more like justifying behaviors so you can go and please yourself what you do. Would you agree?
Maybe the truth is I’m happy in my marriage and feel no need to want to be apart from or change my spouse. Since he’s retired we spend even more time together and to me that was one of the advantages to him being retired. I don’t see him being home as an interference in my life, as some women whose husbands retired do, but as good company. In the words of the Shania Twain song, ‘He’s still the one.’
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