You can cull a lot of wisdom concerning pregnancy by reading celebrity news. While people used to turn to etiquette columns when it came to dealing with rumors, announcements and questions about social situations, celebrities have now taken over that role, as evidenced by the popularity of celebrity blogs, reality shows and spokespersons. Who needs experts when you have celebrities? Here are some examples of current pregnancy etiquette as demonstrated by today’s elite.
How to stir up pregnancy rumors:
If you want the tabloids (or nosey family members) to think you’re expecting, you can do one of three things: refuse alcohol on more than one occasion, send your personal assistant out to buy fast food such as In-N-Out, or wear baggy clothes. All of these things will have your alleged pregnancy all over Twitter (if you’re famous, that is).
How to shoot down a pregnancy rumor:
Drink champagne at a special event where photographers will be present. If that doesn’t work, have your publicist contact the papers. If they still don’t believe you, wear super tight clothes and slam the tabloids on Twitter. (Twitter is very useful when you’re trying to start or stop a rumor).
When to announce a pregnancy:
Wait until you are visibly wearing maternity clothes. Or, you could keep silent indefinitely and let the baby serve as an announcement. You may even go as far as to deny the pregnancy. In either case, expect to get a lot of flack from people. If you are famous, expect this move to get you more press. If you are not famous, your mother-in-law might be a little upset.
What to wear when you are pregnant:
If you are going to a special event, wear something shiny and very short. Make sure to wear spike heals as well. If you are going anywhere else, wear your husband’s t-shirt and oversize shades.
How to score a little extra cash:
Contact the papers or tabloids and sell the rights to your baby’s first photos. If it’s your first child and you have been in a lot of movies lately, you could make a fortune. A fair warning: if you are not famous, the newspaper may laugh.